Overcoming Bedtime Anxiety and Fear of the Dark: A Guide for Parents

Does bedtime feel like the hardest part of your day lately? If your child suddenly has a lot to say once the lights go out — “I’m scared of the dark,” “There’s a monster in my room,” or “I don’t feel safe” — you’re not alone.

Bedtime anxiety and fear of the dark are very common in young children. While reassurance is often your first instinct, anxiety doesn’t always respond to logic alone. When fears linger at night, they can interfere with falling asleep, staying asleep, and even cause early-morning anxiety — leaving the entire family exhausted.

If you’re parenting an anxious sleeper, there are gentle, effective ways to help your child feel safe and confident at bedtime.

Understanding Bedtime Anxiety and Fear of the Dark

Children’s imaginations are powerful. When the house gets quiet and the lights go off, worries tend to grow louder. A child experiencing bedtime anxiety may:

• Stall at bedtime or resist going to bed

• Need repeated reassurance or checks

• Wake frequently during the night

• Express fear of the dark, monsters, or being alone

  
  

Understanding that these fears are developmentally normal — but still very real to your child — is the first step toward helping them sleep better.

Create a Bedtime Plan (Before Bedtime)

One of the most important tools for managing bedtime anxiety is planning during the day. When bedtime arrives, both you and your child may already be tired or emotionally overwhelmed. Instead, choose a calm moment earlier in the day to talk about bedtime worries and create a simple, realistic sleep plan together.

Giving your child a voice in the plan helps them feel more in control — which can significantly reduce anxiety when bedtime fears surface.

Tools to Help Children Overcome Fear of the Dark

1. Name the “Worry Monster”

Have your child draw their worry or fear. What does it look like? What should it be called?

Naming fears helps children externalize anxiety instead of feeling consumed by it. Rather than being scared, the fear becomes something they can talk about, manage, and eventually overcome.

2. Turn Fear Into Something Silly

If your child is afraid of monsters in the dark, invite them to redesign the monster with silly or playful details — a funny hat, rainbow socks, or a tutu. They can draw this out, or you can for them.

This technique helps reduce the emotional power of nighttime fears and makes the dark feel less threatening.

3. Teach Your Child to Fact-Check Their Fears

As children grow, they can begin learning how to gently challenge anxious thoughts. Talk through common fears of the dark and ask:

• “Is this something real or something our imagination created?”

• “What happens every night when you go to bed?”

• “What helps your body feel safe?”

  
  

This builds early coping skills and helps children develop confidence in managing bedtime anxiety.

4. Help Your Child Choose a Better Bedtime Story

An anxious brain loves to replay scary thoughts — especially at night. Redirect your child’s thinking by giving them something positive to focus on, such as:

• Imagining their dream birthday cake

• Planning a fun vacation

• Thinking about their favorite calm, safe place

  
  

This simple mental shift can help anxious thoughts fade as the body prepares for sleep.

5. Ease Into Bedtime With a Predictable Routine

Sudden transitions can increase bedtime anxiety and intensify fear of the dark. A consistent bedtime routine helps signal safety and predictability. Focus on calm activities, quality connection, and screens for at least 1 hour before bed.

To make routines easier and more visual, Smart Night Sleep offers Bedtime Routine Flashcards — a free download designed to help children understand what comes next at bedtime. Visual routines reduce uncertainty, build confidence, and can significantly ease bedtime anxiety.

👉 Download the free Bedtime Routine Flashcards here:

Bedtime routine flashcards for toddlers and children.pdf

Download PDF • 2.76MB

Helping Your Child Build Healthy Sleep Skills

Learning to fall asleep calmly is a skill — and children with bedtime anxiety or fear of the dark may need extra support as they learn. With consistency, patience, and the right tools, bedtime can become calmer and more predictable. When your child feels safe at night, sleep improves — and so does everyone’s well-being.

If bedtime anxiety is disrupting your family’s sleep, Smart Night Sleep is here to help with evidence-based, compassionate support tailored to your child’s needs.

Conclusion

In conclusion, addressing bedtime anxiety and fear of the dark is essential for your child's well-being. By implementing a structured bedtime plan, utilizing creative techniques, and fostering a sense of security, you can help your child navigate their fears. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many parents face similar challenges, and with the right support, you can create a peaceful bedtime environment for your child.

Wishing you rest,

Jennie Clarke

Certified Child Sleep Consultant and Founder

Smart Night Sleep

Based out of Orlando but works remotely with families everywhere.